As the late, great Ray Charles once wrote (and David Letterman co-opted), “Letters, we get letters.”
So for fun I thought I would share snippets of actual letters from people. The good, the bad, and the oh-so ugly.
First the flattering notes… to make me feel better about the scathing ones.
“We so enjoy your column and it is the first thing we read.”
“There are only two things I will miss in the Times, the front page and your column.”
“You are so funny and we love the occasional mentions of your family and son.”
“Your columns are so informational. And we learn so much.”
“I cry whenever I read your column about your son.”
“The only reason I take the Times is for the sports section and/or your column.”
“Thanks for sharing your knowledge and your experiences.”
“I love your Sunday column, but really like it when Katrina writes columns. More Katrina, please!”
Well that made me feel pretty good. But lest I get a big head, following are a few comments that will bring me down a notch.
“You present yourself to be an expert but you completely misidentified this German manufacturer and even the city where it was located.” (Yes, I did. I messed up. I should have known, since Katrina and I have visited Freiburg im Breisgau at least 15 times! Yes, Freiburg im Breisgau is different from Freiburg an der Elbe and Fribourg in Switzerland. This was a dumb mistake.)
“Why do you tell people what you paid for things? That is just dumb,” a fellow decorative arts dealer emailed me. I see his point but I maintain that people KNOW that dealers make a profit. And I maintain that the average newspaper reader is more intelligent than the average television watcher and has the attention span and reasoning skills to “get it.”
Conversely, another friend once said to me (it sounds harsh but you know how “friends” can be), “Jeff, it is really stupid to say how much you sold things for. People will see this and demand more money.” Hmmm … see my response above. People know you have to make a profit.
And from a Philadelphia reader (yes, my little advertorial has a reach): “You are a snob, a backwoods hack who is ill-informed and you can’t write. Your subject matter is boring, your knowledge is marginal and the ‘methodology’ you always write about is lacking and erroneous. Your sentence structure and syntax is that of a third grader.” (I responded, “Yeah, well, you should see the columns BEFORE the editors fix them.”)
And my favorite one of all time (it started out respectfully):
“Dear Mr. Hess, While I like your ads, I thought your recent advertisement was disgusting and unChristian-like. [Bleep] you!”
I had no idea how to respond to that one.
If you have a question or an idea for a column, or a comment or suggestion, email me at jeffrey.hess@gmail.com or katrina.hess@hessfineart.com.
